For some time now i have been, in some ways, trying to keep my professional life separate from my devotional life. When devotees would ask me what i do for a living, i would reluctantly reply, “i am an artist.” And i would always hope that somehow the next question would not follow. But sure enough the inevitable words “what kind of art?” were always spoken, and after a seemingly long and awkward silence, i would even more reluctantly utter, “i’m a tattoo artist”.
It’s not necessarily that i am ashamed of what i do, or that i think that is an inappropriate occupation for a Vaisnava (i can think of five other devotee tattoo artists in the state of New Jersey alone), it’s just that i don’t like to talk about tattoos when i am talking to devotees. i hardly want to talk about them with customers most of the time, but we don’t need to get into that.
Most tattoo artists are very much immersed with their trade and base their entire lifestyle around it, with their own lingo and clothing, and special groups of people who they hang out with. But for me, it was just another job (which might not be something you want to hear from the guy who is putting permanent marks on your body). It’s not that i don’t care about my job or that i put less effort into the artwork than the tattoo enthusiasts do, it’s just not what my life is about. I got into the body modification industry with the aim of saving up for college (the second time) so that i could open a preaching center with a focus on sastric study. Then i stayed in the business to pay off my college debts, and then continued so that i could raise funds for the Bhagavat Commune.
Actually, i have been a lot of things during my devotional career… i’ve been a college student (twice), a retail manager (twice), a graphic designer, a hot tub technician (which i spelled wrong on my business card), a plumber, a racecar driver, a musician (in a manner of speaking), an amateur mechanic, a security guard, an adventurer, a world traveler, and a few other things i’m sure i’ve forgotten about.
Although i avoid talking about my occupations among devotees, i never refrained from discussing my spirituality with my co-workers, friends and customers. So i didn’t keep the two aspects of my life completely separate. In fact throughout all of my various occupations and hobbies, it was well known to everyone who knew me that i was a devotee of Krsna. From the time i was in college (the first time), where my friends would come to me to “bless” the popcorn in the study lounge before passing it around the room, to the time i was a racecar driver and my friends told the other drivers that the reason i was so good is that i raced for Visnu, it was never a secret and i was never reluctant in talking about it when asked.
So why was i withholding this from the devotees? Was i ashamed? Embarrassed? Was i afraid that i would be taken less seriously? Perhaps there was a little of each of these mixed in there, but as i mentioned before i just really do not like talking about tattoos with devotees (with a few very rare exceptions (see photo on the right)).
But recently it dawned on me that withholding this information could actually be detrimental to my preaching. Since the most effective preaching is that which is shown through personal example, it is beneficial for others to know where i came from and what i have been through. Otherwise, it can be difficult to relate to me fully. So although i have a long way to go on my spiritual journey i have undeniably covered quite a bit of ground.
Perhaps the real reason i have avoided this subject matter in certain company is that it, in a way, exposes my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. But it also shows that i am human, relevant and accessible.
i have listed a lot of things that i have done during my devotional career, and since each of these things can be utilized in Krsna’s service one may ask why i gave some of them up. After all, if something can be used in Krsna’s service, it should be accepted, not rejected.
Which brings us to the important stuff that i like to call the “stepping stone principle”. There are two things that need to be understood about stepping stones, and unless both aspects are acknowledged it will cause one to get stuck in an awkward and undesirable situation. i have heard arguments that focus on either one aspect or the other, but these arguments are futile and i will explain why.
The first important thing to understand about a stepping stone is that if you are on one side of a river and desire to go to the other side without getting swept away by the current, they are extremely beneficial if not necessary. The second aspect of the stepping stone is that if you desire to get to the other side, you eventually have to leave the stepping stone. If you set up camp on it or try to lug it around with you, it will cease your further progress.
Each person has their own unique matrix of modes of nature that are layered around them according to their desires and past actions. This web of material nature determines our conditioned propensities and tendencies. Our goal is to remove these various layers to expose the pure self, but since each person’s covering is made up differently, each person has a unique process that they have to follow to shed their layers. Just like if you have several disheveled knotted clumps of yarn, you cannot go through the same exact motions to untangle each knot. There are common principles that one can follow for each puzzle, but the details will be different.
We each have to peel away our layers one by one starting with the most accessible one. We learn in the Bhagavad-gita that the way to purify our material desires is to dovetail them with service to the Supreme Lord. In this way, said activities become transcendental and therefore cause no further karmic bondage. So when we fully dovetail one of our propensities it transforms from material to spiritual and thus the layer dissolves from our covering. Once that happens, we naturally become detached from that particular material activity and we see the world more clearly having cast away that layer. At this point, we can move on to our next layer… Abandon one stepping stone and leap to another.
In this regard i will share a personal example. i was very much into racecar driving (and have the tattoo to prove it), and there were many aspects of it that increased my understanding and appreciation of spirituality. At the track, you are very precisely timed down to the thousandth of a second at various stages of the race, so each small and seemingly insignificant thing that you do differently (shift points, launching techniques, modifications to the car etc.) has a big impact on your final time. This helped me to understand that small things that we may take for granted in our devotional lives have a huge impact on the big picture and that we should be very persistent and precise with our devotional practice to make the most of it.
And as i mentioned earlier, the other drivers knew that “i raced for Visnu” so it was also good for preaching in a way. But there came a time when i no longer needed it anymore. i used it to its full potential, became detached from it and moved on. Had i continued with it, i would have spent a lot more money, wasted a lot more time and never would have had the property for the Bhagavat Commune. Thanks to my study of the Srimad Bhagavatam i knew when it was time to move on and i never regretted that decision or felt like i missed out on something.
It may not always be this cut and dry, but one thing is for sure… if we want to make spiritual progress we have to slowly let go of material attachments. We shouldn’t let them go prematurely or falsely, but once they are no longer necessary to us and we are no longer obliged to them, we should let them go and move on (there is no point in carrying around a bag of stones).
As with any instruction, this must be done with intelligence and honesty. It should not be used to cop out of responsibilities in the name of spiritual progress. If we learned anything from Hiranyakasipu, it is that you can not cheat in this game and expect to win it.
Being a tattoo artist has just been another important stepping stone for me. i certainly needed to do it to get to where i am, and i likewise have to leave it sooner or later in order for me to continue my spiritual journey.
Anyway, if this process can work for a tattoo artist, racecar driver, jack-of-all-trades, skate punk, it can work for anyone. And anyone who has known me for a long time can attest to my spiritual growth and maturation. If we follow the process we will make spiritual advancement… we shouldn’t expect drastic results overnight if our endeavor is less than drastic or expedient, but the results will surely come when we sincerely practice.
Godspeed.
Hari, Hari!
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