We’ve heard countless maxims about time… it heals all wounds, it flies when you are having fun, if you put a stitch in it, it will save nine (whatever that means)… sometimes it is equated with money while other times it is considered far more valuable than any currency. It keeps on slipping into the future, it reveals everything and (according to David Bowie) although time may change us, we can’t trace it. The one thing that is certain about time is that it is an unstoppable juggernaut and there is nothing we can do to get it back once it is gone. It’s one of those things that we think we have plenty of until we are faced with the harsh reality that every second gone is another second that we are closer to death.
In theory we all understand that time is valuable but in practice we tend to waste it on things that “seemed like a good idea at the time”. Time, in my experience, is the thing we are least honest with ourselves about. After all, no one wants to admit that they are wasting their lives away. We come up with so many excuses about how we need or deserve a good ole fashioned time wasting session (as if we have been depriving ourselves of that sort of thing). Since we tend to be overgenerous when meting out self-credit, the best way to evaluate how we spend our time is not to look at a day or even a week for that matter but a much larger sample. If we really want a fair and accurate assessment of our time usage, we should examine a decade or two.
In a blog i wrote a few weeks ago i mentioned that i have come a long way spiritually in the last twenty years, and although that is true i honestly could have come much further. For example, if i compare the amount of times i am reminded of stories that i have read or heard about Krsna to the amount of times i am reminded of a mundane song or movie, i can see that my inclinations toward meaningless drivel is more prominent than my inclinations toward spirituality.
Don’t get me wrong, there is certainly potential value in some of today’s music and movies… sometimes a song that was not necessarily written about transcendence can remind us in a very powerful way about Krsna or His pastimes. We find this to be true with most well written love songs (before they started to get vulgar). There is no doubt that everything can be dovetailed in the service of the Lord but it is my experience that we tend to overindulge in the mundane and pay little attention to attempting to make a solid connection to our ultimate goal.
It becomes clear where our priorities lie when we can successfully relate everything we see to an Adam Sandler movie, or an episode of the Simpsons or Seinfeld.
So what can we do about this? How can we change our focus? Especially considering that we were already under the impression that our focus was already properly situated. In one sense our lifestyles show that we are serious about spirituality... from the pictures on our walls, to our special diets, to the way we dress, to the events we attend, etc. But these are all external, and just like it is true that “actions speak louder than words”, it is also true that consciousness speaks louder than actions. What really defines who we truly are is our motivation… our intention. What do we value the most? What drives us?
When i was taking the preachers training course in Vrndavan in 1995, Brajabihari Prabhu told the class about a demonstration that he saw during a time-management seminar that he attended. Since then, i have heard a similar story a few times but (like with all good things) sadly the message had been changed and/or lost. So today i will revive said message and hope that it stays alive in the hearts of the sincere. (if you have heard it before, please read it anyway as the moral may be slightly different)
At the seminar, the facilitator had a big empty jar and a bucket of big rocks. He added rocks to the jar until he could not fit anymore and asked the attendees, “Is the jar full?” After the consensus came back that the jar was in fact full the man then pulled out from behind his lectern a container of gravel. The man put several scoops of gravel into the jar and periodically shook it so that the gravel filled in the spaces between the big rocks until no more gravel would fit into the jar. “Now is the jar full?” he asked. After hearing mixed reviews concerning the “fullness” of the jar the man then presented a bag of sand, which he poured into the jar, filling all of the spaces between the gravel until he could fit no more sand. “How about now?” he asked, generating even more uncertain responses. Finally the man revealed a pitcher of water and poured it into the jar until the water level reached the very top and exclaimed, “Now it is full… so what is the point that i am making?”
Most of the attendees of this time-management workshop thought that the point was that no matter how busy you think you are, there is always time to do more. This, however, was not the case. “The point is” he revealed, “is that you have to put the big rocks in first.”
“Big rocks” refers to the top priority items. When scheduling our days we have to make sure to first write in our top priority items and then schedule the lesser priorities around them. This is a very powerful tool in the business world but it is an even more powerful tool in our personal lives.
In the world of business the bigness of the rock is determined by what, in the long run, will generate the most profit. In the world of spiritual practice it is determined by what will generate the most love of God.
Yesterday i was speaking with a good friend of mine who had a very strong spiritual upbringing and holds family values in the highest regard. As a businessman, he tries to provide a comfortable and full life for his wife and children by earning money to be able to create a favorable situation for them. Lately he has been stressed out due to of the current financial climate. When I told my friend the story about the rocks in the jar, i explained that while money is valuable and necessary, if we make it our main priority - our focus - our big rocks, we will not live a very happy life. But if his big rocks were the continuation of his spiritual upbringing from the previous generation to his next generation, then his children will understand that peacefulness and understanding are more valuable and important than money. That way when times are tough financially, instead of becoming depressed and hopeless they will be at peace knowing fully well that “this too shall pass”.
What we consider our “big rocks” becomes evident especially in times of struggle… What motivates us to get out of bed? What do we turn to? What do we pray for? Even if we are turning to God but asking for money, it is clear that our priorities are still out of balance.
It is never too late though. When i look back on the last twenty years of my life i am saddened that i have committed to memory so many mundane songs and movie quotes but have not done the same with the countless spiritual stories that i have had access to for the same amount of time. i am also bummed that with all of the jobs i have had i have only been late a hand full of times while i have missed mangala arotic more times than i care to remember while living at the temple.
But instead of getting down or giving up, i hope to be able to use this exercise to help reassess my true priorities and make even more spiritual progress over the next few decades. Time has taken away the opportunity for me to change my past decisions but my future decisions are still up in the air.
What we choose at each moment affects our future. So if we want time to be on our side, we have to consciously make proper use of it at every moment. Our character is defined by the motivation behind the choices we make. As time goes by we can evaluate our true motivations by examining our default reactions to everyday situations. We will all get crushed by the teeth of time... Of this there is no doubt. The question is will we be prepared for that moment?
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